


Somebody to Love

by KyluxFicHell



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Eventual Sex, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern AU, Protective Brian, Slow Burn, Smut, Supportive John, all the boys are gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-14 11:57:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyluxFicHell/pseuds/KyluxFicHell
Summary: “It’s not you,” Brian says as reassuringly as he can. “You’re amazing, John.”John just stares at the ceiling. “You thought I was amazing right up until I told you I’m a virgin. If it really bothers you-““It doesn’t bother me,” Brian says quickly, laying a tentative hand on John’s shoulder. “God John, anything but. It’s not every day that a beautiful virgin wants to have sex with me. It’s hot, and I’d love to be your first, if I weren’t-“He falters, and John looks him in the eye.“If you weren’t what?” John asks softly.Brian sighs. He supposes that after this he’ll probably never see John again so what’s the harm in telling him the truth?“If I weren’t in love with Roger.”ORBrian goes on a blind date with a young electronics student to try and distract himself from his unrequited love for his best friend. The date is almost a disaster, but Brian somehow manages to gain both a confidant and a new bass guitarist for his band.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi-chapter Maylor fic- please be gentle with me! Feedback and comments welcome as always- either on here or on my tumblr @bohemian-rhapsody-slash

“I had a nice time tonight,” Brian finds himself saying with a smile, turning to his date as they leave the restaurant together. 

And it’s actually the truth; he’s had a lovely evening with a guy from another uni who someone in his tutor group had introduced him to. It’s been nice to get out of the house and spend time with someone who isn’t in the band, and to get his mind off everything that’s been going on lately. 

His date, John, smiles back at him. He’s cute, with pretty brown eyes and a warm laugh that almost makes Brian forget about the whole reason he’s doing this tonight. Throughout the evening he’s discovered that John plays bass guitar, enjoys the same types of music and films as Brian, and is really rather well read. John is at the early stages of his electrical engineering degree whereas Brian is partway through a PhD, which means there’s roughly a four year age gap between them, but Brian wouldn’t know that just from speaking to John. The younger man has a maturity far beyond his years, and despite coming across as a little reserved, he has a likeable sense of humour and is probably the smartest guy Brian has ever gone out with.

Despite all this, Brian still can’t help but wish he was looking at blue eyes instead of brown right now.

“I had a lovely time too.” John smiles shyly. “I’ll admit I was a little nervous when  Alex set us up- I don’t have a very good track record with blind dates.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Brian laughs. “To be honest it’s been a while since I’ve been on any kind of date.”

“Maybe we could do this again,” John suggests as they stroll down the road towards Brian’s car. “I’d love to come and watch your band play sometime.”

The mention of his band reminds Brian once again that there’s someone he wishes were here in John’s place. He feels _awful_ , because John is beautiful and smart and funny and all Brian can do is think about how much he wishes John were someone else.

He suddenly remembers that he’d told his band mates about his date tonight, and cringes when he thinks about what he’ll face when he gets home- the barrage of questions and accusations of Brian making the whole thing up. Because it really has been a while since Brian has been out with anyone, partly due to how busy he’s been with studying and with the band, and partly because going out with someone is like admitting he’ll never have the person he _really_ wants. Brian knows his friends think he leads a bit of a lonely life, even if they don’t say it to his face, and he’s never had the courage to tell them why that is. 

“You can come and meet them now if you like.” The words are out of Brian’s mouth before he can stop himself. “Come back to mine for a cup of tea. They sort of don’t believe I’m out on a date tonight so it would be nice to prove them wrong.”

John laughs and checks his watch. “Yeah, ok, why not? From what you’ve told me they sound like a couple of interesting characters. Freddie and...?” John frowns, a crease in his brow as he tries to remember. 

“Roger,” Brian supplies, his mouth suddenly dry.

“ _Roger_. Can’t believe I forgot him; you talked about him the most.”

“I’ve known him longer.” Brian isn’t sure why he’s bothering to give an explanation- John’s tone hadn’t been accusatory or teasing in any way; he’d merely been making an observation. 

“Well I’d love to meet them,” John says with a sweet smile. “I’ve been in a couple of bands myself and always enjoy talking to fellow musicians.”

As they climb into the car, Brian can’t help but wonder if maybe he’s made a bit of a mistake. 

*****

Bringing John back to the flat actually isn’t as painful as Brian was expecting it to be.

When they arrive, Freddie is lounging on the sofa watching The X Factor in his pyjamas and Roger is nowhere in sight.

“You’re home early,” Freddie comments, eyes fixed on the telly. “Your date clearly didn’t suck you off then.”

Brian flushes and shoots an apologetic glance at John, but he’s relieved to see the younger man looking amused. 

Brian clears his throat. “I brought my date home, Fred.”

Freddie finally sits up, eyes wide when he sees John standing next to Brian.

“Oh, hello.” Freddie smiles at John sheepishly. “Sorry, I would’ve made myself more presentable if I’d known we were expecting a visitor.” He narrows his eyes at Brian. “You could’ve texted me, Bri. I’m in my bloody PJs.”

“It’s alright,” John insists. “It was a last minute decision. Brian spent all evening telling me about Queen and how fabulous his band mates are, and I was desperate to meet you.”

Freddie looks very pleased with this answer. “Well we mustn’t disappoint! Come and have a seat, my dear; let me me make you some tea.”

As they settle themselves in the living room, Brian asks the question that’s been on his mind since he got home. “Where’s Rog?”

Freddie pads over to the kitchen to put the kettle on. “In his room. Entertaining a gentleman.”

Brian tries to ignore the surge of jealousy that flairs in the pit of his belly. He hadn’t  known Roger had a date tonight, and the fact Roger hadn’t said anything to him suggests that this had been a last minute date. Probably less a date and more a quick fuck.

Brian tries to shake the thought of Roger in his bedroom with another bloke as they spend a few minutes talking about John’s course and his last band. He’s surprised that John doesn’t seem at all phased by Freddie’s slightly intrusive questions and answers them all patiently. John and Freddie actually seem to get on like a house on fire, and Brian ends up spending a good twenty minutes not really saying too much.

He’s listening with genuine fascination about the homemade amp that John’s been constructing in his spare time, when Roger finally makes an appearance.

Brian feels that familiar flutter in his stomach at the sight of Roger in an old oversized t-shirt which comes down to mid-thigh, barely covering his boxer-briefs. His face is flushed and his hair is incredibly messy; Brian feels like a knife is being twisted in his stomach when he realises that the look Roger is sporting is  _well-fucked_.

“Oh,” Roger says when he sees John, tugging his t-shirt lower to try and cover more of his legs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise we had a guest.”

John smiles. “That’s alright. I sort of came unannounced. You must be Roger?”

“This is John,” Brian says quickly, feeling oddly nervous, as if he’s introducing two of his ex-lovers to each other, which is bizarre because neither of them have really come that close to being his lover. 

_Yet_ , he thinks hopefully. 

“ _John_?” Roger’s eyes scan the young man sitting on his sofa before fixing on Brian. “As in the John you were on a date with tonight? He’s _real_? And you actually brought him _home_?”

Brian rolls his eyes- the only way he knows how to respond to Roger’s playful teasing. 

“He didn’t even have to pay me,” John jokes, winking at Roger.

Brian quickly decides that if he lived in a world where Roger Taylor didn’t exist, he could easily fall in love with John Deacon.

Roger laughs. “Brian, I love him already! Hang on, let me chuck Duncan out- he’s just getting changed. Then I can put some jeans on and we can have a proper chat.”

Brian tries to ignore the pang of jealousy that hits him. It doesn’t take an astrophysicist to put together Roger’s appearance, the mention of a strange man’s name, and Freddie’s earlier comment to arrive at the conclusion that Roger has most definitely had sex tonight. 

As if on cue, a brutish looking bloke stumbles in from the direction of Roger’s bedroom, his shirt half untucked and inside out. Brian vaguely recognises him but can’t quite place his face- judging by his size and his gigantic muscles he must be from the rugby team. 

“Sorry lads,” the guy slurs with a grin. “Hope me and Rog weren’t being too loud.” 

He winks at Brian.

Brian wants to punch him.

“Duncan was just on his way out.” Roger gives the guy’s arm a tug in the direction of the door.

Duncan doesn’t move though, and instead  he loops one of his massive gorilla arms around Roger’s slim waist and pulls him close, delivering a sloppy kiss to his lips. When they part, Roger has a silly little grin on his face. Brian feels as though he wants to be sick. The sight of Roger pressed up against this towering wall of muscle makes him want to scramble over and tear them apart from each other.

Brian makes a quick decision and, when he knows Roger is looking, boldly puts his arm around John’s shoulders. It’s petty and will achieve nothing, but he doesn’t miss Roger’s brief look of surprise and it makes him feel a little better.

“I’d better get going then.” Duncan pats Roger’s arse.

Brian wants to break his hand.

He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding when Duncan finally makes his exit. He’s hopeful that he won’t return; Roger gets bored with his men very easily.

Roger seems to forget that he said he would put some trousers on because he immediately starts making them all tea while starting to fire questions at John.

Brian can’t stop staring at his legs. 

The conversation flows easily, and again Brian doesn’t really say too much. He can’t really focus on anything that’s being said when Roger comes to sit on his other side, his bare thigh pressed right up against Brian’s leg on their tiny sofa. 

“How long have you been with Duncan?” John asks, and Brian and Freddie both laugh at his naivety.

“Shut up, you two.” Roger smacks Brian’s leg. It’s a touch that isn’t intimate in any way but Brian wishes it could last longer.

“Roger doesn’t tend to stay with one man for very long,” Freddie clarifies. “And he’s been through _a lot_ of men.”

“Fuck off,” Roger huffs.

“When you’re done with that one,” Freddie gestures in the direction of the door, “tell him _I’m_ single. Jesus Rog, the muscles on that guy! He looked as though he could bench press you!”

“He _was_ pretty hot,” Roger agrees.

Brian makes a mental note to renew his gym membership first thing in the morning. 

They spend a few minutes poking fun at Roger’s continuous conveyer belt of boyfriends before Brian hastily moves the topic of discussion to John’s former band.

Brian finds he’s actually able to focus on the conversation as they listen to John telling them about about the types of music he likes, how he learnt to play bass, why he chose to study electrical engineering. The four of them talk for what seems like hours, until eventually Freddie makes them all tea and they end up watching an _Only Fools and Horses_ marathon.

For a while Brian feels happier than he’s felt in a long time. At some point John makes a subtle shift so that his thigh is pressed against Brian’s, and Brian puts his arm around the younger man’s shoulders again. It feels nice, like maybe he’s found that piece of him that’s been missing over the last year or so.

But then he catches Roger smiling at him, blue eyes glancing to where his leg touches John’s, and he feels deflated again, because he knows _John_ isn’t the missing piece. Roger’s encouraging smile only serves to remind Brian that he wishes he had his arm around someone else.

A little before midnight, John pats Brian’s knee and quietly announces that he needs to get home.

“I’ll give you a lift,” Brian says automatically. He doesn’t think he can spend any longer trying to avoid looking at Roger’s bare legs.

Freddie and Roger both hug John, telling him to come back soon. Brian’s glad that they seem to get on with John so well and that the younger man doesn’t look at all shellshocked. As they leave, John slips his hand into Brian’s, and his mood picks up a little.

When they walk out the door, Brian tries not to look at Roger’s arse as the younger man retreats to his room. 

*****

“Thanks for driving me home.” John unbuckles his seatbelt, but doesn’t move. “And thanks for taking me to meet your friends. They’re really lovely.”

Brian drums his fingers on the steering wheel. His mind is still on Roger and the big hulking rugby player he’d spent the evening with.

There’s suddenly a hand on Brian’s thigh, warm against the denim. John is looking at him with dark brown eyes, a far cry from crystal blue, and the longing suddenly overwhelms Brian so much that without much thought he leans forward and presses his lips against John’s.

The younger man doesn’t resist, and soon the kiss turns a little more heated as they try to find a more comfortable angle. John’s fingers tangle themselves in Brian’s hair and stroke his cheek. The gear stick is digging into Brian’s side and he desperately wants to get closer; he wants to mould himself into John and make himself forget about Roger.

“Would you like to come inside?” John’s lips are a little swollen when they part, his face flushed. “My housemates are away for the weekend. We’ll have the place to ourselves.”

Brian finds himself nodding; right now there’s nothing he wants more than to clear his mind of blond hair and slim legs and a cheeky smile with a nice hard fuck.

They stumble through the front door and John starts to pull Brian towards what is presumably his bedroom, their lips fighting for dominance and their hands exploring each other’s bodies. When they finally make it to the bedroom, Brian has somehow already shed his shirt and John’s not wearing any trousers. 

For a moment Brian can’t help but think that John’s bare thighs look so different to Roger’s- slightly thicker and a little more more shapely, but he quickly dismisses the thought. He wants to focus on John, and _only_ John.

Brian palms John’s arse and grins when the younger man lets out a throaty groan. The sound goes straight to Brian’s dick; it’s been a long time since he’s been this aroused.

He cups the younger man’s backside before trailing his hands down to the backs of John’s thighs and _lifts_. John wraps his legs around the taller man’s waist, his hands scrambling at Brian’s shoulders for purchase.

“I want to fuck you,” Brian says breathlessly, heading towards the bed. He’s never been so bold on a first date before, especially with someone he’s just met, but despite all his willpower he can only imagine Roger, blonde hair in disarray and face flushed after a meaningless shag with a stranger.

He drops John on the mattress and leans down to kiss his neck. If Brian doesn’t look at his face then he can pretend it’s someone else.

“Brian.” John’s voice is a little shaky. “I need to tell you something.” His fingers trace the buckle of Brian’s belt.

“Mm?” Brian’s too busy trying to imagine the sounds Roger might make if it were him here instead.

“I just, um, wanted you to know.” John looks up at him nervously. “I’ve never done this before.”

Brian feels like someone’s dumped a cold bucket of water over him. “Oh.”

“Is that ok?” John’s hands slip away from Brian’s belt. 

The guilt hits Brian like a bullet in the chest. He wants to fuck John _so badly_ , but he knows that using him like this is wrong. It wouldn’t be fair of him to take John’s virginity while imagining he’s someone else. 

“I’m sorry,” Brian sighs. “I can’t do this.”

There’s a moment of awkward tension where John looks confused, before hurt slowly dawns on his features. 

_I’m a terrible person_ , Brian thinks as he rolls off the younger man to lie beside him.

“It’s not you,” Brian says as reassuringly as he can. “You’re amazing, John.”

John just stares at the ceiling. “You thought I was amazing right up until I told you I’m a virgin. If it really bothers you-“

“It doesn’t bother me,” Brian says quickly, laying a tentative hand on John’s shoulder. “ _God_ John, anything but. It’s not every day that a beautiful virgin wants to have sex with me. It’s hot, and I’d _love_ to be your first, if I weren’t-“

He falters, and John looks him in the eye.

“If you weren’t what?” John asks softly.

Brian sighs. He supposes that after this he’ll probably never see John again so what’s the harm in telling him the truth?

“If I weren’t in love with Roger.” Brian’s tongue is heavy in his mouth. 

It feels good to finally say it out loud, to admit his biggest secret to someone other than himself. There’s a few moments of silence where John just stares at him blankly.

“Roger?” John’s expression is unreadable. “Your band mate?”

“I didn’t think it was fair,” Brian explains. “Your first time should be special, and you deserve to share it with someone who isn’t in love with somebody else.”

John laughs bitterly. “But if I _hadn’t_ told you it was my first time, you would’ve fucked me anyway? I still deserved that?”

Brian feels the shame wash over him again. “I’m a terrible person, I know. I’m so sorry, John. You deserve better.”

John shrugs. “It’s a shame.” He gives Brian a sad smile. “I thought we got on rather well.”

Brian smiles back. “I really like you. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, and really funny and sweet. I hope we can still be friends.”

“I suppose I can’t compete with Roger,” John says quietly. “He is quite stunning.”

“So are you,” Brian says quickly. “If I’d met you first, who knows what would’ve happened. But I’ve known Roger for a while now and he’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

He ends up telling John everything. He talks about how he and Roger met and formed another band before they knew Freddie. He tells John how they quickly became best friends and how he’d never felt so close to anyone in his life. He talks about how he developed the most heart wrenching crush on Roger which simmered inside him as his best friend dated football players and rugby players and guys who looked like they could bench press Roger- guys who were the exact opposite of Brian. John listens as Brian talks about how that crush quickly blossomed into something far more consuming, until he found himself falling hopelessly in love with with an angel who could never love him back. 

Brian can’t quite believe he’s pouring his heart out like this to a man he’s only just met, but it feels _so good_ to finally get it off his chest. For so long he’s kept this all to himself and now that he has the chance to share it with someone he lets it all tumble out of his mouth like an avalanche. 

John listens to this monologue patiently without interrupting, his eyes warm and understanding. Brian really doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve such kindness. 

“Why don’t you just tell him?” John’s voice is soft and devoid of judgement. 

It’s the question that’s haunted Brian for months.

“He’s the best friend I’ve ever had,” Brian says defeatedly. “I can’t lose him. This could ruin _everything_.”

He blinks back tears. 

“It might not.” John’s hand is warm on Brian’s arm. “He might feel the same way. He _could_ feel the same way, if you gave him the chance. I’ve only seen you together very briefly but...it’s clear you’re very special to each other.”

“I’m not his type. He doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“Brian-“

“It’s fine. He won’t ever see me like that and I’ve come to accept it. I’ll live. As long as I can have him in my life, I’ll be happy.”

John doesn’t say anything more, but squeezes his arm gently. 

“Sorry,” Brian says with a pained laugh. “Sorry to dump this all on you. This has gotta be the worst date ever for you, eh?”

John shrugs. “I’ve had worse, actually. I had a nice evening with you and your friends. And while it would have been nice to have some sex, I appreciate you stopping things when you did.”

Brian is suddenly filled with affection for the younger man, and he really does genuinely hope they can stay friends. 

“You’re one of a kind, John Deacon.” Brian boldly kisses the other man’s temple. “And one day you’ll find someone who deserves you.”

John gives him a proper smile then, blinding and full of warmth.

They dress in silence and Brian can’t help but feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Sharing all this with someone has been like taking a deep breath after spending an age underwater. He now has the oxygen he needs to go back under again.

“I know it’s a cliche,” Brian says as he’s leaving, “but I really do like you and I hope we can stay friends.”

John smiles. “Like I said, it’s not the _worst_ first date I’ve ever been on. But I’d like to stay friends too. And if you ever want to talk about...stuff...I’m happy to listen.”

Brian knows that _stuff_ really means _your unrequited love for Roger._

They hug, and although it’s a little awkward there’s genuine warmth and friendliness behind it. 

“Oh!” Brian calls back when he’s halfway between the front door and his car. “This might be weird for me to mention but...my band is looking for a bass guitarist, if you’re interested? You seemed to get on pretty well with the boys when you met them tonight.”

John laughs and shrugs. “I’ll think about it. Goodnight, Brian.”

As Brian gets into his car and drives away, he can’t help but grin. Even though he managed to pull off a spectacularly bad first date, he thinks he may have found an important ally in John Deacon. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those who read the first chapter and left such lovely feedback. I’m overwhelmed by all the amazing comments, so I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last.
> 
> Tumblr: @bohemian-rhapsody-slash
> 
> P.S. yes, the character of Vernon is based on Veronica...

_Six months later_

Brian takes another swig of his beer and leans against the bar, his eyes searching the crowd in the dim light. 

It’s one of the few local gay bars that Brian actually enjoys visiting- the music is good but not too loud, and the barman knows him well enough now that he often gets free drinks. Drinks are on the house all night tonight anyway though- one of the perks of Queen being the night’s entertainment. 

The gig had been quite a success; they’d played some of their newer songs, which had been well-received, and Brian feels as though they’re at the point now where they’re really starting to gel as a band. Freddie had completely owned the stage and the audience, and he had taken advantage of that power to deliver his best performance yet. John seems to be really finding his rhythm now; he’s quickly settled in to the group and Brian wonders how they’d ever managed without him. And Roger had been incredible as always. Brian loves the exhilaration of being able to glance behind him and watch Roger lose himself in a song, concentration and passion on his face. He’s at his most beautiful when he’s absorbed in his music. 

Brian can see Roger on stage now, dismantling equipment following the end of their set. The blond says something to John, who’s sat on the edge of the stage tuning his bass, which makes the younger man throw his head back and laugh. Brian’s really pleased that the two of them get on so well. John gets on with everyone really, and Brian can’t believe they’ve been so lucky to find someone as incredible as John after the string of ill-adjusted bass guitarists they went through. Even Freddie loves John, and Freddie is not an easy man to impress.

Brian scans the crowd but can’t find Freddie amidst the mass of male bodies moving in time to the music. He vaguely recalls seeing him disappearing with Jim, his on again/off again boyfriend. Brian can’t help but wonder if Freddie had insisted they play here because he knows it’s a club that Jim frequents.

“Great show tonight, mate.” A guy Brian doesn’t recognise slides into the free spot next to him at the bar. He looks perhaps five years or so older than Brian, handsome, and he’s smartly dressed with a suit jacket over a button down shirt and jeans.

“Thanks,” Brian says with a smile. Normally he doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers in bars, but he’s still buzzed from his earlier performance. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

“Yeah. I _definitely_ enjoyed it.” The man grins, showing off even white teeth, and nods in the direction of the stage. “And what a show it was.”

Brian follows the stranger’s gaze to Roger, and feels an overwhelming urge to stand in front of him and block his view, as if that will somehow protect his friend. 

“You guys are good.” The guy’s eyes shift back to Brian. “Really good. I haven’t seen the crowd here react like that for a while. They really loved you.”

The compliment is overshadowed by the fact that the stranger’s eyes keep drifting back to Roger on the other side of the room, and there’s something predatory in his gaze. 

“I work for a record company,” he continues, twisting a beer bottle beneath his fingers. “I think my bosses would like your stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” Brian tries to keep the interest from his voice; he’s feeling incredibly uneasy about this guy.

“Yeah. I could set up a meeting if you like?” A sly smile, his eyes flicking back to Roger. “If you introduce me to your friend. The blond.”

“I don’t think so,” Brian says automatically. “He’s not available.” It’s a lie, but letting this man anywhere near Roger is a price he’s not willing to pay.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, mate, didn’t realise he was yours.”

Brian doesn’t bother to correct him, no matter how much he wishes it were true. 

The guy takes a swig of beer. “Good for you, mate, he’s fucking gorgeous.” He nudges Brian’s arm and nods towards the stage again, this time in John’s direction. “What about your bass player? He’s pretty cute.”

“Also off limits,” Brian retorts frostily, feeling more irritated. That one isn’t technically a lie- John has been seeing a guy recently who’s come to watch them play tonight. 

“That’s a shame.” The guy clicks his tongue. “You have a gift, man. You can play like a fucking rock god even though you’re surrounded by boys who look like _that_. If I were you I’d be so fucking distracted.” He pats Brian on the shoulder patronisingly and slips a business card into his hand. “Listen, if you ever change your mind, give me a call. Or if you break up with blondie tell _him_ to give me a call.”

Brian downs the rest of his drink.

“Or if your bass player does become available, I’d be _very_ interested in talking. I could sell your records and make you millions with an arse like his. I can tell he’s a bit newer to the band- he looks a little more nervous and tense than the rest of you when he plays. He looks like he could use a nice long screw-“

Brian seizes the guy’s shirt with one hand, before throwing back his fist and aiming a punch right in the arsehole’s jaw. 

The guy stumbles back, clinging onto the bar for support and clutching his jaw. “What the _fuck_?”

“The answer is no!” Brian yells through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to fucking see you near either of them, understand?”

The stranger doesn’t have a chance to do anything other than look completely shocked, before hands are grabbing Brian and dragging him out of the bar.

*****

Freddie is the one who finds Brian outside, perched on the back of the van cradling his right hand.

“I see you’ve had an interesting night,” Freddie comments, taking a seat next to him. He’s brought a drink with him from inside- a bottle filled with blue liquid.

“I got thrown out,” Brian explains, trying to ignore the throbbing in his fist. “For fighting.” 

He’s never punched anyone like that before in his life, but it felt damn good. 

Freddie guffaws. “Barely a fight, darling. I did see you know, and it seemed to be very one-sided from where I was standing.” He takes Brian’s hand in his own, inspecting the small cut over his knuckles. “What on earth did that poor fellow do to get you so riled up? It’s not like you to lose your temper. It’s even less like you to actually _punch_ someone.”

Brian shrugs, not meeting Freddie’s eyes. “He was just some arsehole. We got talking at the bar. He said some things I didn’t like.”

Freddie raises an eyebrow. “Was he hitting on you?”

“No. Not on _me_. He was leering all over Roger.” Brian frowns. “And John,” he adds quickly, hoping that Freddie will simply see this as an act of friendly protectiveness rather than jealousy.

Freddie nods thoughtfully. “And what did he say?”

“Does it matter?” Brian sighs. “He wanted to get off with him- I mean _them_ \- and he was saying fucking disrespectful things about them.”

“They might be younger than us Brian dear, but Roger and John are both big boys. They can take care of themselves. They can tell a man _no_. I know John’s not single anymore but Rog might even have wanted to go for it.”

Brian just stares at the cold wet pavement beneath his feet, feeling a little bit sick at the thought of Freddie’s last comment. “I just want to keep them safe.”

“Keep who safe?” John appears in front of them as if from nowhere, his cheeks a little red from the heat of the bar and an evening of performing. A few feet behind him stands a tall, lanky guy with blond hair a similar shade to Roger’s, who’s clearly with John but keeping his distance, as if he doesn’t want to intrude on the conversation.

“No one,” Brian says quickly before Freddie can jump in, but the younger man has a knowing look on his face.

“Are you alright?” John asks softly, glancing at Brian’s hand. “I heard you punched a guy.”

“I’m fine,” Brian reassured him. “Honestly, it’s all fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”

John shoots him a momentary worried look, before his expression becomes softer. “I just wanted to introduce you to Vernon quickly. He really enjoyed the set.” He glances behind him before leaning in to whisper in Brian’s ear. “I really like this one, Bri. _Please_ be nice to him.”

Brian snorts. “I’m always nice to guys you go out with.”

John rolls his eyes before grabbing Vernon by the hand and tugging him forward. “It’s ok, Vern. Come and meet the boys.”

Brian has heard a lot about Vernon over the last couple of months, but this is the first time he’s actually met him. He knows that Vernon is also an electronics student, and that he’s in his final year so is a couple of years older than John. He knows that they’d met after Vernon had been assigned as a mentor to John, who has been identified as a gifted student by the university. He also knows that John is completely smitten, as Brian has had to listen to an account of every single date the pair had been on and any interactions they’d had before that when John had been developing a bit of a crush. 

“This is Brian,” John says with a warm smile. “He’s the one who persuaded me to join Queen.”

Vernon shakes Brian’s hand gently, noting his injury and clearly not wanting to cause him any pain. “Alright, mate?”

“Yeah.” Brian tries to return the smile, wanting to make an effort for John despite feeling so shitty. “It’s really good to finally meet you.”

“Same here.” Vernon smiles back. He’s not what Brian would describe as classically handsome; he’s more on the geeky side, but he’s charming in his own way and John looks absolutely besotted with him. “I’ve heard so much about you. I’ll admit I was a little nervous though, meeting the ex-boyfriend.”

Freddie lets out a laugh.

“I’m not really John’s ex,” Brian says quickly, his face reddening. “We went on one date.” 

“And you nearly did other things,” Freddie interjects with a wink before turning to Vernon. “I’m Freddie, darling.”

They shake hands just as Roger appears, carrying two heavy-looking cases of equipment.

“Thanks for the help guys,” he quips, heaving them past Brian into the back of the van. Their shoulders brush as Roger climbs in, and Brian tries to ignore his pounding heart.

“And you remember Roger,” John says with a smile.

Roger gives Vernon a one-handed wave as he struggles with arranging the cases. Brian eventually takes pity and climbs in the back to help him.

“It’s been great to meet you all,” Vernon says, checking his phone. “We’ve gotta get going though. We’re heading to a party.”

“You’re not coming home tonight?” Freddie says to John with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, no. Not really.” John rubs the back of his neck, looking suitably embarrassed as Freddie gives him a knowing look. “I’ll be home in the morning.”

“Alright, well take care and we’ll see you tomorrow then?” Freddie gives John a quick hug and shakes Vernon’s hand again.

Brian jumps out of the van, partly to say goodbye to John, and partly to avoid watching Roger bend over to arrange all the various boxes of equipment in their rightful places.

“Be safe, yeah?” Brian says quietly in John’s ear when the younger man leans in for a hug.

“You sound like my mum.” 

John looks so young and innocent in that moment that Brian finds he really doesn’t regret punching a man in the face earlier that evening. 

“Nice to meet you.” Vernon gives Brian a friendly smile before wrapping an arm around John’s waist, guiding him away from the van. 

“Bye, Rog!” John calls, laughing when all he gets is a loud grunt in response.

Brian watches the couple walk down the street together, something warm blooming in his chest as he observes the way John leans into the other man’s touch. His thoughts are interrupted by a loud crash from the back of the van, followed by a string of curse words before Roger appears.

“Please can we go home?” he whines. “I’m fucking freezing my balls off.”

Brian squeezes his eyes shut and rubs his temple, trying not to think about Roger’s balls. 

It already feels like it’s been an awfully long night. 

*****

“So. Deaky’s gonna pop his cherry tonight, eh?”

From the corner of his eye Brian can see Roger waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Probably.” Brian tries to focus on the road ahead. It’s a dark January night and there’s fucking black ice everywhere. 

There’s a few moments of silence, the only sound coming from Freddie’s soft snoring in the back of the van. Normally Brian would treasure any time he gets to spend alone with Roger, but his mind is still preoccupied with the night’s events. 

“Are you ok with that?” Roger’s voice is soft, more serious.

“With Deaky getting laid?” Brian frowns. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know.” Roger chews his lip thoughtfully. “You’re very protective of him. And you used to go out with him.”

“We went on _one_ date!”

“I know, but still.” It’s hard to tell in the dark, but Roger looks almost a little _sad_. “Don’t you still have feelings for him? You’re very close to him, despite your history together.”

“What _history_?” Brian is starting to feel irritated, and isn’t quite sure where the younger man is going with this. “We went on _one_ date, Rog. We knew we’d be better off as friends than as boyfriends, so it never went anywhere.”

Roger settles back in his seat, leaning his head against the window so he’s facing away from Brian. “You’re awfully protective of him,” he points out again. His tone is difficult to read. 

“He’s the youngest member of the group.” Brian shrugs. “I want to look out for him.”

Roger doesn’t say anything, and continues to stare out the window as they meander their way down narrow icy roads. Brian isn’t quite sure what’s got the younger man in such a mood, but the air between them is tense, and Brian desperately wishes he could reach out and caress Roger’s cheek, or kiss him reassuringly, or stroke his hair-

He’s interrupted from his thoughts by Freddie groaning in the back as he wakes from his slumber.

“Are we fucking home yet?” Freddie yawns. “It feels as though we’ve been in this old rust bucket for hours.”

“It’s been twenty minutes. We’re nearly there, Fred.”

Freddie can clearly sense the tension in the front, and looks between his two bandmates silently for a moment, before opting to change the subject.

“So.” He leans forward and drums his fingers against the back of the seat. “Deaky’s getting fucked tonight, yes?”

Neither Brian nor Roger respond. Brian doesn’t really want to talk about it anymore and he doesn’t want to provoke any more questions about his and John’s relationship.

“Ah, to be young and virginal.” Freddie lets out a low chuckle. “I wish I could remember what that felt like. Don’t think you’ve ever been a virgin, eh Rog?”

“Oh fuck off,” Roger huffs, clearly still in a mood. 

Brian knows that Roger lost his virginity before they met, when he was seventeen. He’d slept with his first boyfriend who had then split up with him just under a month later. As far as Brian knows, Roger hasn’t had a serious relationship since then, with the exception of Tim, who lasted a little under a year. Tim is a sore point for them both though; despite Brian’s crush on Roger he’d actually liked Tim, and had been devastated when Tim abandoned them both, leaving Roger heartbroken and their band without a lead singer. 

He risks a glance at Roger, who’s still sulking, reflecting on how despite all his sexual escapades the younger man has never really had much luck in love. 

They sit in silence for the rest of the journey, and when they get home Roger goes straight to his room without a word.

Brian can’t help but wonder if he’s done something to upset him.

*****

When John gets home the next morning, he tactically avoids any immediate ribbing about what he’d been up to the previous night by bringing Vernon with him. 

“Vern’s on his way to a study group,” John says cheerfully, looking blissfully happy as the other man helps him takes off his coat. “He offered to drop me home and I invited him in for some tea.”

Freddie starts fussing over the couple as Brian volunteers to put the kettle on, and he’s slightly surprised when Roger follows him to the kitchen. 

“Sorry about last night,” Roger says quietly, looking a little bashful as he gathers some mugs. “I was tired and a bit grumpy. I just wanted to get to bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Brian shrugs and gives him a reassuring smile. “You look like you’re feeling better.”

They make tea together in companionable silence, meandering around each other in the kitchen as they fetch teabags and spoons and milk. Brian loves how they know each other so well now that they can work their way around each other without saying a word. For a moment he imagines that they’re living a different kind of domestic life together- one where they make breakfast together in the morning after waking up in the same bed.

“Need a hand?” John pokes his head round the door, the same giddy grin from earlier plastered across his face. 

“I think we’re ok,” Brian smiles. “Did you have fun last night?”

John giggles, leaning against the doorframe. “Um. Yeah, you could say that.” 

Roger winks at him. “Looks like our Deaky has finally been broken in.”

John covers his face with his hands, shaking with laughter. “Oh god. _Rog_!”

“So tell us the gory details.” Brian gives John a friendly nudge. “What positions did you try? How big was his dick?”

“ _Bri_!” John flushes bright red, but looks no less happy. 

“At least tell us if it was good,” Roger says a little more gently. 

John bites his lip. “Yeah. It was. It was _really_ good actually. The first time we, um, tried it...it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable and I didn’t really get what the big deal about sex was. But then we tried it again and...god, it was _amazing_.”

“That good, eh?” Roger waggles his eyebrows. “Well I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

He grabs a mug of tea in each hand and gives John a friendly kiss on the cheek on his way out of the kitchen. 

John goes to grab some mugs too, and on his way out he glances out the door to check that Roger’s out of earshot before grinning over his shoulder at Brian.

“On my back,” John says quietly, “and on my hands and knees.” He gives Brian a wink. “And his dick is huge.”

Brian just laughs at John’s retreating back.

When they return to the living room, John takes his seat beside Vernon, and something warm blooms in Brian’s chest when he sees the older man wrap an arm around John’s shoulders.

It reminds him of the night he first met John.

They look so at ease around each other, and the happiness is practically radiating off John. Vernon also looks blissed out, occasionally sneaking glances at John as if he can’t quite believe he’s allowed to touch him.

Brian glances at Roger, who’s gazing at Vernon and John with an expression that almost looks like longing. 

And then Brian feels a spark of hope.

Because maybe Roger wants what John has, which is something he’s never been able to find. Someone who will look at him the way Vernon looks at John, someone who will put his arm around Roger and kiss his hair the way Vernon does with John, instead of a string of short-term boyfriends and the meaningless sex that he’s used to.

Brian swallows and tries to ignore his pounding heart. He knows he’s probably being optimistic, but _maybe_ there’s a chance that Roger wants something that Brian can offer.

Maybe there’s hope after all.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for the lovely feedback and messages, both on here and on Tumblr! I’m so thrilled you’re all enjoying this and still sticking with me. We’re halfway there!
> 
> Tumblr: @bohemian-rhapsody-slash

It turns out that Brian is only able to cling on to his sliver of hope for so long. 

A week after the incident at the bar, he finds himself alone at home with Roger, which is something that doesn’t happen very often these days. Freddie’s gone home to visit his parents and John is at the library studying with Vernon, which means Brian and Roger have the flat to themselves.

The two of them are sprawled out in front of the TV watching Netflix, too lethargic to do any work or focus on anything else. Roger’s bundled up under a thick blanket because they’re too cheap to put the heating on, and Brian doesn’t think he’s seen a more adorable sight in all his life. The other advantage of the heating not being on is that Roger has also decided to snuggle up close to Brian for extra warmth. 

Brian’s only wearing a thin jumper, but with Roger practically pressed up against his side he feels like he’s boiling. Most likely because his heart is pumping blood around his body at an alarming rate. 

Brian is feeling particularly brave today, so he stretches a little and loops an arm around the younger man’s shoulders. He feels as though his heart might burst out of his chest when Roger leans in to the touch, so that their torsos and thighs are pressed right up against each other. 

“This is nice,” Roger mumbles against Brian’s jumper.

“Mm.” Brian couldn’t agree more. He could die right here and he would be happy. 

“I love the other guys,” Roger yawns, “but sometimes it’s nice when it’s just the two of us.”

Brian gives Roger a gentle squeeze, and that feeling of hope from the other day reignites in him. 

“I love Freddie but he’s got so much fucking energy all the time.” Roger rests his head on Brian’s shoulder with a sigh. “And now that Deaky’s finally getting a good dicking that’s all he talks about.”

Brian closes his eyes, trying to be subtle as he smells Roger’s hair. “Deaky’s just excited, Rog. Vernon is his first proper boyfriend.”

“I know. But Vernon’s all he’s talked about over the last week. _Vern’s so hot, I love sucking his big cock, he fucks me so good-_ “

“C’mon, Rog, give him a break-.”

“- _he’s the best kisser, he cuddles me when I wake up, he writes me poetry._ I mean who fucking writes poetry-“

“ _Rog_ ,” Brian admonishes, confused by the younger man’s bitter tone. “What’s up with you? We should be happy for John. He’s really taken with this guy, what on Earth is wrong with that? 

“Nothing,” Roger sighs, sounding a little calmer. “Nothing, I’m sorry. I’m happy for John, really. I’m just a little jealous I suppose.”

“Jealous?” Brian squeezes his friend again. “You could have any man you wanted, Rog. You don’t need to be jealous.”

Roger shrugs. “I couldn’t have any man the way that John has Vernon. I could probably persuade most guys to fuck me, sure, but how many guys would want to write fucking poetry for me?”

Brian wants to tell Roger that nearly every song he’s written has been about him, and doesn’t that sort of count as poetry? 

“Sorry,” Roger says again, sounding less agitated. “I know I’m being a bitch today. Seeing Deaky with his dream guy just reminded me that I’ve never had anyone who even comes close.”

Brian wonders if this could be his moment. Maybe now is the time for him to tell Roger everything he feels for him, to offer to be that person who can give Roger everything he wants. 

“Sorry, Bri, I know I’m being a miserable git. Anyway I felt so rubbish the other day after seeing Deaky and Vernon together that I snogged my lab partner after class yesterday. He’s taking me out tonight, so hopefully that’ll cheer me up a bit.”

Brian feels his heart drop and the shard of hope he’d felt earlier shatters. 

“Oh.” Brian swallows, his tongue heavy in his mouth and his throat dry. He tries to keep the crushing disappointment from his voice. “Well, that’s something.”

“Yeah,” Roger yawns, snuggling closer. “Andrew’s a nice guy. Even if he doesn’t turn out to be my dream guy, I’m sure he’ll bang me hard enough to make me forget my woes.”

Brian feels like the room is spinning. He desperately tries to fight the image forming in his mind of Roger naked and sweaty, moaning with pleasure as some faceless stranger shags him from behind. Even with Roger literally in his arms now, Brian’s greatest desire has never seemed so unobtainable. 

How could he be so stupid to think that Roger would ever consider something serious with someone like him?

*****

That night, after Roger leaves for his date with Andrew, Brian grabs his keys and heads to the gay bar they played at last week.

When he arrives, he immediately orders a beer and downs it as fast as he can, hoping it will give him the courage he needs. He’s surrounded by a plethora of gorgeous men, but his mind is only on one person. He orders another beer, and then another, and it’s as if confidence is flowing through him, growing stronger and stronger with the more he drinks. He slams his bottle down to join the rest of the empty bottles on the bar, before scanning the crowd to see if there’s a guy who fits the type he’s looking for.

There are lots of blonds in tonight, but every man he sees is either too tall, or too broad, or has brown eyes-

Until eventually he manages to catch the eye of a young guy on the dance floor with shoulder length blond hair and wide blue eyes. It’s the closest resemblance he can find, so Brian quickly orders a shot and downs it before making his way over.

It’s been a while since Brian’s flirted with anyone, so he keeps his distance at first, dancing a little awkwardly to the Madonna track that’s blaring from the speakers, and when the guy makes eye contact with him again, Brian moves a little closer.

“Are you here on your own?” the blond asks with a mischievous smile, raising his voice to be heard over the music. In the dim lighting and at the right angle, he could almost pass for Roger.

Brian returns the smile. “Yeah. I had a rough day and thought I could use some fun.”

The blond laughs. “What a coincidence. Me too.”

They dance together for a while, and Brian finds he’s momentarily able to forget about Roger and fucking Andrew. It’s nice to be reminded that he _is_ desirable, that men _do_ want him. All he needs is the warm sweaty body that’s grinding up against him, the beautiful blue eyes and the soft lips-

They end up making out right there in the middle of the dance floor. The blond, _Ben_ , is running his hands through Brian’s hair, pulling him in roughly for a passionate kiss. It’s not romantic at all; it’s sloppy and clumsy but it’s exactly what Brian needs. He holds the other man close and tries to pretend that he’s a little slimmer, that his his face is a little rounder.

Brian isn’t sure how long they stand there making out, but before he knows it, they’re stumbling outside into a taxi which takes them back to Brian’s place. He doesn’t remember much about the journey other than burying his face in Ben’s neck and kissing his sweaty skin to the sound of the other man’s moans.

Thankfully there’s nobody home when they eventually get there, stumbling through the front door in a fit of giggles, so Brian is able to guide a handsy Ben to his bedroom without being interrupted. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Brian says between kisses, as they tear at each other’s clothes. “So perfect. God, I want you so badly.” He starts babbling everything that’s been inside him for so long, even though at the back of his mind he knows this isn’t the person he wants to say it to.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Brian says breathlessly as he works Ben’s underwear down his thighs, and thankfully the other man seems too engrossed in the moment to notice that this comment makes no sense.

When they’re both naked, they collapse onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Brian has imagined what Roger looks like naked a thousand times, but he knows from seeing his friend in various states of undress that he wouldn’t look much like the body beneath him.

“Brian,” Ben gasps, taking hold of Brian’s cock and stroking firmly. “Are you gonna fuck me or what?”

“Yeah.” Brian hitches one of the other man’s thighs up. “I’m gonna fuck you.”

The foreplay is quick and hurried; it’s nothing like the slow kisses and gentle touches that Brian always imagined he would share with Roger. He fingers Ben open without finesse; he knows he’s too drunk to perform at his best, but that doesn’t seem to bother Ben, who’s moaning and rocking back and forth on his fingers. 

When Brian finally pushes his cock inside Ben, the tight heat is so overwhelming that he momentarily forgets where he is.

“Oh fuck, _Rog_.”

He can feel the other man stiffen beneath him before he’s had a chance to process what he’s just said.

Neither of them move or say anything for a moment, and they sort of just lie there awkwardly with Brian still inside Ben.

“ _Rog_?” Ben says eventually, a little quietly. “Who the fuck is Rog?”

Brian sighs and pulls out, avoiding eye contact as best he can.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Ben demands angrily, pulling the covers over himself. He seems to be sobering up pretty quickly. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“No,” Brian says immediately, frowning as his head starts to pound dangerously. “Christ, no. Look...I’m so sorry, Ben. Roger...is not my boyfriend. He’s a friend who I’m sort of in love with, and I just wanted to find someone tonight who could make me forget about him.”

Ben gives him a look that’s difficult to read. “Right, ok. So why not just fuck Roger? Why go to the trouble of wasting everybody’s time and bringing me home?” He’s starting to sound more and more irritated.

“It’s complicated. He’s out of my league.”

“Wow.” Ben rolls his eyes. “You’re really making me feel special here, Brian.”

“I’m sorry.” Brian rubs his temples. He’s definitely regretting drinking so much. “I shouldn’t have used you like that.”

“Whatever.” Ben doesn’t sound angry anymore, just disappointed. “I’m gonna go, seeing as you were settling for second best.”

Brian knows he should say something, but he can’t bring himself to do anything other than watch Ben dress. He knows he’s fucked up. He’s not proud at all of his behaviour tonight, and he’s bitterly disappointed in himself for hurting somebody else in the process.

He pulls on his underwear to let Ben out of the flat, but stops dead in his tracks as they’re crossing the living room and he spots someone curled up in front of the TV.

_Fuck_.

“Oh,” Roger says with a slightly confused smile. “I didn’t know you were home.”

Brian tries to remember if they saw him on their way in as he starts to feel the panic build in his chest.  

Roger is still dressed up from his earlier date, looking particularly stunning, and his eyes do a quick scan of Brian in his underwear and the blond man next to him. 

Brian wants to _die_.

“You must be Roger,” Ben says, clearly putting two and two together.

“Er, yeah.” Roger continues to look confused as his eyes dart between the two men in front of him.

Ben snorts and turns to Brian. “Well I’m sorry to say that he’s _definitely_ out of your league. As am I. Goodnight.”

Brian just about registers a door slamming as he feels the shame wash over him.

“What the fuck is going on?” Roger is up out of his seat almost as soon as Ben is gone, shooting Brian a concerned look. “Bri, are you alright? What just happened?”

Brian really isn’t sure if he can talk his way out of this one. He doesn’t think he can sink any lower than he already has, and Roger probably already has his suspicions, so he might as well just tell the fucking truth. He tries to think about the best way to articulate this, but his brain is still fuzzy from too much alcohol.

“I’m in love with you,” is what Brian eventually blurts out.

It feels as though all the air has been sucked out of the room as they stand there in awkward silence. Brian feels like the world’s biggest wanker, standing in his living room in his underwear at 1am, reeking of alcohol and confessing his love to someone who looks like perfection. 

Roger’s eyes are wide, impossibly blue. “What?”

“I was having a shitty night,” Brian sighs, resigning himself to his fate and the fact that he’s probably about to lose Roger forever. “I was upset that you were going out with your lab partner, so I went to a bar and got drunk and found the first guy that looked like you and brought him home to fuck. But he rightly got pissed off when I said your name in bed.”

Roger listens to this with a strange expression on his face, as though he’s trying to figure out whether Brian is making this up or not.

“You love me?” Roger says eventually, his voice soft. “Like...you’re _in_ love with me?”

Brian looks him in the eyes. “Yes.” He wishes the floor would swallow him whole.

Roger’s brows furrow. “But...I thought you were in love with Deaky?”

“ _Deaky_?” Brian frowns. Of all the ways he had imagined Roger responding to this confession in his fantasies, this certainly hadn’t been one of them. “What on earth would give you that idea?”

Roger bites his lip, suddenly looking sweetly vulnerable. “You’re so close to him. And you’re always so protective of him. Not to mention you nearly fucked him once.” His blue eyes are shining now, a little wet.

“Jesus.” Brian rubs his eyes, impossibly tired. “Rog, the only reason I went out with Deaky in the first place was to try and get over you. And it didn’t fucking work. I couldn’t fuck him because I only wanted you so we agreed to just be friends.”

Roger looks as though he’s trying to process everything that’s being said, before eventually his expression softens.

“You went out with Deaky six months ago...Jesus, how long have you felt like this, Bri? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Brian sighs. “Because I didn’t think you’d want someone like me. I’m not your type at all.”

“My type?” Roger raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Brian’s head is really hurting now, and he wants to be sick, and he wants to get out of this room as quickly as possible. “Your type. You know, big fucking muscly rugby players and football players who only have a handful of brain cells.”

“Excuse me?” Roger is frowning now, and the atmosphere in the room suddenly changes. “What are you implying? That I’m some dumb blond who only dates equally dumb sports players?”

“No,” Brian says, starting to feel more irritated because this is turning into an absolute car crash. “I don’t think you’re dumb, Rog. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Which is why I’m always so surprised when you pick up another bloody body builder who can’t string two sentences together just for a fuck.”

Roger’s mouth drops open. “I don’t...I’m not...”

But it seems Brian’s brain, fuelled by alcohol, wants him to spill all the thoughts and feelings he’s kept buried inside for so long, including the feelings of bitterness. The filter he usually has seems to have been destroyed, and it’s all tumbling out in one giant mess.

“I don’t get it Rog, because you could do so much better, you’re worth so much more than a few one night stands here and there; you could have a proper fucking relationship instead of sleeping with every guy at uni-“

“Christ, Brian!” Roger yells, pure anger on his face. “How bloody dare you! Who are you to tell me what I deserve and what I should want? Who the fuck do you think you are, shaming my love life when you’re standing here in your fucking underwear, after _your_ one night stand stormed out of here because _you_ said someone else’s name in bed!”

Brian’s brain isn’t quick enough to keep up and he stands there speechless, wondering if this is some terrible dream he’s having.

“And maybe,” Roger continues, his eyes flashing dangerously, “I wouldn’t sleep with so many guys if _someone_ wasn’t so fucking oblivious and if _someone_ didn’t spend the last six months flirting with our best friend!”

Brian is too drunk and too riled up to fully process the implications of what Roger has just said.

“Jesus, Rog, I haven’t been fucking flirting with John, and the only reason I haven’t made a move is because you’ve been too busy sleeping your way round uni like a fucking _slut_!”

Roger’s face falls, and Brian regrets saying the word as soon as it tumbles out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” Brian says instantly, more calmly. “I didn’t mean that-“

“No.” Roger’s eyes are wet but his voice is frosty. “I think you did.” The obvious look of hurt on his face is like a knife to Brian’s gut. 

“Rog-“

Brian doesn’t get a chance to say anything else, because Roger storms past him in tears, and the echo of his bedroom door slamming makes Brian sick to his bones.

He stumbles back to his own bedroom, the room spinning, and he throws up before promptly collapsing on the bed.

The last image his fuzzy mind conjures before he passes out is a horrifying replay of Roger’s face crumbling as Brian called him a slut.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a little earlier than expected- Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks again for all the comments and support, you guys are the best :)

When Brian wakes up, he feels as though his head has been hit with a sledgehammer. 

He lets out a groan and rubs his temples, trying to ease the throbbing ache. He can’t remember drinking this much since his first year as an undergraduate; his body isn’t used to the amount of alcohol he ingested last night, and he’s paying for it dearly now.

Brian sits up slowly, trying his best not to throw up. His vision is slightly blurry and his throat is dry, and the whole room is spinning. He tries to recall why the hell he drunk so much last night, because he’s never felt so fucking awful in all his life.

Tumbling out of bed and hunting around for some trousers and a t-shirt, Brian quickly dresses before stumbling towards the kitchen, and silently vows never to touch another drink again.

He can hear voices echoing down the hallway, hushed whispers talking quietly, but when he enters the kitchen the chatter abruptly ceases. He’s met by three pairs of eyes staring at him.

Freddie is giving him an amused look as he takes in Brian’s wild hair and bloodshot eyes. John is gazing at him sadly, and there’s also something else in his eyes that looks almost like... _disappointment_.

And then there’s Roger.

Roger is looking at him with a quiet anger, as if he’s on the verge of one of his tantrums. But there’s also something else in his eyes, something that looks a lot like _hurt_.

And then Brian remembers.

_Shit_.

“I have to go,” Roger says, standing abruptly and grabbing his jacket. “I’m meeting Andrew to work on an essay.”

He doesn’t look at Brian as he storms out, slamming the front door behind him.

There’s a moment of awkward silence, and Brian rubs his eyes as the room spins. He knows that Roger must have told John and Freddie about every humiliating moment of last night, and he’s not quite ready to face their judgement.

“You guys are home early,” Brian says eventually, his voice croaky, trying to avoid addressing what just happened. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until this afternoon?”

Freddie chuckles. “It _is_ this afternoon, my dear. It’s three o’clock.”

Brian drops himself into a chair at the kitchen table and groans. “Fuck. I slept for like fourteen hours.”

“You look fucking awful, darling.” Freddie pulls out his phone, and Brian feels too shitty to protest when his friend snaps a photo of him. “This one’s going on instagram.”

“Can I get you anything?” John asks softly, his expression a little more sympathetic. “Some paracetamol? Coffee?”

“Coffee would be amazing.”

John busies himself making coffee while Brian buries his head in his hands as the events of last night come screaming back to him.

“I hear you had an interesting night,” Freddie says with a smirk.

“A fucking _awful_ night,” Brian clarifies.

“Roger is very upset.” John slides a mug of coffee under Brian’s nose, along with two paracetamol tablets. “He told us you had an argument.”

“Something like that,” Brian laughs bitterly, knocking back the tablets.

“He said you called him a...a, um, _slut_.” The disappointment in John’s voice is evident as he falters a little on the last word.

Hearing that word come from John’s mouth makes Brian feel even more awful. It brings back the image that’s now been burned into his brain of Roger’s face falling, hurt in his eyes.

Brian sighs. “I feel fucking terrible about it. God, I didn’t mean it, I was drunk and I just felt so shitty.”

He reluctantly recounts his side of the story for his friends, and as he says it all out loud he can’t help but cringe at how stupid he’s been. Reliving everything he said and did last night, he’s really not surprised that Roger doesn’t want to talk to him.

“Wait a minute,” Freddie interrupts, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Are you telling me you _fancy_ Rog?”

John rolls his eyes. “Of course he bloody fancies Rog! Christ, Freddie, are you fucking blind?”

Freddie blinks at them. “Well Jim always said he thought there was something going on between you guys, but I just thought he was talking bullshit.”

Brian wants the floor to swallow him whole again. “Yes, Fred. I’m in love with Roger.”

Freddie’s eyes widen. “You _love_ him?”

Brian nods, deliberately avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Brian rubs his eyes tiredly. “And I think he might be into me too? Maybe. But he’s spent the last six months thinking I’m in love with John.”

There’s an awkward pause before Freddie starts cackling.

John blushes. “What on earth would give him that idea?”

Brian shrugs. “He thinks because we nearly slept together once and because I’m _protective_ of you, then I must be in love with you.”

Freddie _howls_ , pounding the table with his fist.

“What’s so funny?” John asks indignantly.

“Oh nothing.” Freddie wipes his eyes. “It’s just the thought of Brian being madly in love with _you_ , dear.”

John rolls his eyes. “Well it’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility. _Vernon’s_ madly in love with me, I’ll have you know. Anyway, this isn’t about me. This is about Brian and Roger.”

Brian sighs. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Even if Rog _does_ have any feelings for me, I fucked it up by calling him a slut.”

There’s an awkward pause.

“Yeah.” Freddie’s voice is more serious now. “That was a bit of a fuck up.”

“I know.” Brian wants to scream. He wishes he had a time machine so he could travel back to last night and slap himself in the face. “I regret it and I wish I could take it all back. I was drunk and it just came tumbling out.”

“It was a pretty shitty thing to say,” John agrees. He gives Brian a questioning look. “Is that something that you really believe though? That Roger is a slut?”

“Christ _no_ ,” Brian says truthfully. “It’s not him sleeping with loads of blokes that upsets me; what upsets me is him sleeping with blokes who aren’t _me_. You know I don’t normally give a toss about people’s sex lives and how many people they sleep with. I certainly don’t care about how many people _you_ get off with, Fred.”

Freddie sticks his tongue out.

“I was just jealous,” Brian says defeatedly. “I was a jealous idiot and I said something awful that I shouldn’t have.”

John pats him on the arm. “You were a bit of a wanker, Bri. Rog was really upset. You need to talk to him.”

The image of Roger’s hurt face fills Brian’s mind again. He knows it’s an image that will haunt him for the rest of his days.

“I know. I need to talk to him.” He feels miserable and entirely helpless.

John gives him that sympathetic look again, before shuffling his chair closer so he can give Brian a hug.

“Just talk to him, Bri,” John says gently. “While you’re sober. Apologise and tell him how you feel. And then, when he agrees to go out with you, you can come on a double date with me and Vernon.”

“Hey!” Freddie interrupts, poking John in the side. “What about me and Jim?”

“I can never keep track of whether you two are together,” John laughs, poking him back. “But fine. We can all go on a triple date. But Brian needs to fix this first.”

Brian takes a long sip of coffee, replaying the image of Roger’s eyes shining with unshed tears over and over in a loop.

He definitely needs to fix this.

*****

When Brian’s headache subsides from a constant pounding to a dull ache later that evening, he attempts to compose a brief text to Roger. He spends nearly an hour agonisingly composing the words until he’s happy with them, hoping it sounds apologetic enough without the tone sounding too needy.

_Rog, I’m so sorry about last night. I was a stupid drunk prick. I didn’t mean what I said, I was just feeling shitty and jealous because you spent your night with someone who wasn’t me. You are my best friend and I love you more than anything. Please come home so I can explain myself and then if you never want to see me again I will understand xx_

He sends it once he’s re-read it about fifty times.

He sighs and curls up on the sofa, praying to God that Roger responds soon and puts him out of his misery.

“Alright, I’m off out,” John calls as he rummages round for his keys. “Remember Freddie’s gone to see Jim and won’t be back until the morning. I’m going to see Vernon’s parents and we’ll probably end up staying the night.”

Brian grunts in response.

John pulls on his coat and kneels in front of Brian, one hand on the older man’s knee. “Are you sure you’ll be ok? I can stay with you if you want. I can wait with you until Roger comes home?”

“No thanks,” Brian says, smiling gratefully. “I’d rather just be alone for now and think about what the hell I’m gonna say to Rog.”

John gives him one of his heartwarming smiles. “Alright, if you’re sure. Oh, I almost forgot.”

He stands and fumbles in his pockets, before pulling out a small bottle of lube and a packet of condoms and depositing them under one of the sofa cushions.

Brian raises an eyebrow. “What the hell are you doing with _those_ in your pocket? And why are you putting them _there_?”

John giggles and blushes. “Oh. Well, Vernon was carrying them around because he wanted to fuck me outside. We ended up doing it in his mate’s back garden.” John bites his lip. “It was fucking freezing and my knees were caked in mud. Anyway, he gave the stuff to me to look after when we were done and I forgot to take it out of my pocket. So I thought I’d just leave it here in case you need it.”

Brian scoffs. “I doubt I’ll be needing it, but thanks Deaky.”

“You never know.” John pats Brian’s shoulder and leans down to kiss his cheek. “It’ll all be fine. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Brian gives the younger man a hug, and part of him doesn’t want to let go; part of him wants John to stay so he doesn’t have to face Roger alone. But he knows this is _his_ mistake, and he needs to own it. He needs to be the one who fixes this.

As soon as John has left, Brian checks his phone and his heart skips a beat when he sees a text from Roger.

_Will be home in 20 mins xx_

Brian breathes a sigh of relief. _At least he wants to talk to me._

Brian pulls a blanket over himself and starts playing Candy Crush on his phone while rehearsing in his head what he’s going to say to Roger. It’s the first time in his life he’s ever felt nervous about talking to his best friend; he knows this is a crucial point in their friendship, _the_ crucial point. This will be the making or the breaking of his relationship with the person he loves most in the world.

He must fall asleep while pondering on all of this though, because the next thing he knows there’s a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake.

“Wake up, you bastard. You said you wanted to talk.”

Brian blinks his eyes open, feeling groggy and disorientated. He comes crashing back to reality however when he sees blue eyes fixed on him, and scrambles to sit up.

“Rog! You’re home.”

Roger’s blond hair is tousled from the wind outside, and his cheeks are slightly red from the cold. He looks so beautiful in that moment and Brian is so happy to see him that he throws his arms around the younger man, pulling him close.

Roger lets out a little yelp of surprise before cautiously returning the hug.

“I’m so sorry,” Brian babbles into Roger’s hair, inhaling his scent. “I’m a fucking idiot. God, you should punch me in the face, I’m such a wanker.”

Roger pulls back and looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Have you been drinking again?”

“No! God, no.” Brian takes Roger’s hands in his own. “I can’t believe what a prat I was last night. I’ve been so hopelessly in love with you for so long that I just felt rubbish when you said you were going out with someone else, and I did something really stupid. And I’m _so_ sorry about the way I spoke to you. I didn’t mean what I said about you. I was just jealous that you’d been spending so much time with blokes who weren’t me.”

Brian halts his monologue, searching Roger’s face for any indication of how he might be feeling, but the younger man’s expression is blank.

Brian isn’t sure what to do, so he just keeps talking.

“I love you,” Brian says, his heart in his throat. “I’m so in love with you. I’ve been falling for you since Smile, since you were with Tim. You’re my best friend in the whole world. I am so happy when I’m with you. You’re so funny and sweet and smart, and I just want to be with you all the time.”

He falters, his words starting to escape him as Roger’s expression softens.

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I said to you last night.” Brian swallows. “But if you give me a chance, I’d like to try and make it up to you.”

Roger looks at him for a moment, before he finally gives Brian a tentative smile.

“Bri.” The younger man squeezes Brian’s hands. “What you said last night was pretty shitty. And you’ll be making it up to me for a long time, believe me.”

Brian nods enthusiastically. Might he actually have a shot here? Could this really be happening?

“But I don’t think either of us have had our finest moments in the last few months.”

Brian squeezes the younger man’s hands, relieved that he still hasn’t been punched in the face yet.

Roger bites his lip, his voice quieter and softer. “I tried to tell you last night... I love you too. I think I’ve always loved you in a way, but I only realised it when you brought John home for the first time and you were being so sweet to him...and _I_ wanted that. I’ve never been able to have anything like that. I never thought you’d want me because I honestly thought you wanted someone clever and reserved like Deaky.”

Brian smiles. “I love Deaky,” he admits. “But not in the way I love you. I only want you, Rog.”

Roger smiles, looking uncharacteristically shy. “You _love_ me.” He says it as if he can’t quite believe it.

“More than anything,” Brian confirms. He reaches out tentatively and strokes Roger’s cheek in the way he’s been dreaming of doing for so long.

Roger leans in to the touch, and Brian decides to take that as a sign to keep going. He leans in, slowly so that Roger has a chance to either punch him or move away, until his lips are pressed against the younger man’s.

Roger’s lips are _soft_.

Softer than Brian ever imagined they would be. He cups Roger’s face in both his hands and moves his lips gently against his friend’s, his heart doing a somersault when Roger starts to return the kiss. It’s sweet and chaste and so much more incredible than any of his wildest fantasies.

When they part, Roger has the most beautiful smile on his face. They both laugh a little awkwardly, and then Roger is sliding his hands up Brian’s arms to his shoulders, before wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

Brian’s blood is roaring in his ears as their lips meld together again, this time a little more heated. He can’t believe this is happening. He settles his hands on Roger’s slim hips, marvelling at how he finally has what he’s always wanted.

They kiss for a few moments, and Brian can feel himself start to harden. It’s the most aroused he’s ever felt from a mere kiss.

When they part this time, Roger is beaming at him. “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

“I hope so.” Brian gives him another quick kiss. “If you’ll have me.”

Roger pushes Brian back and swings one leg over his hips so that he’s straddling the older man, settling himself in Brian’s lap.

“You’re all mine now,” Roger growls, before leaning in for another kiss.

_I must be dreaming_ , Brian thinks. _This can’t be real._

They’re making out far less innocently now, and Brian is certain that Roger _must_ be able to feel his erection. The way the younger man is rubbing his hands over his chest and through his hair is driving Brian crazy, and in a bold moment his hands slip from Roger’s back to cup his arse.

Roger moans into his mouth, and Brian squeezes. He still can’t quite believe that he’s making out with _Roger_. _Roger_ is sitting in his lap kissing him. He’s touching _Roger’s_ arse right now.

“I love you,” Brian whispers against Roger’s lips. He’ll never get tired of saying that.

“I love you,” Roger echoes back breathlessly.

He’ll definitely never get tired of _hearing_ that.

“I’m sorry,” Brian babbles again. “I’m so sorry. I’m gonna spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I don’t deserve-“

Roger silences him with another kiss.

“Stop it, Bri. We’ve both made mistakes, and we’ll figure them out together. Right now I just want you to fucking kiss me.”

“I can do that,” Brian grins, tipping Roger off his lap so the younger man lands on his back.

Roger laughs and is about to pull Brian on top of him for another kiss, when he lets out a small groan.

“Ow! What the fuck. There’s something digging into my back.” Roger fumbles behind him, and pulls a small tube out from beneath the cushion he’s lying on.

Brian’s eyes widen.

_Shit_.

Roger raises an eyebrow and holds the bottle of lube up. “Did you have any specific plans for us tonight?” 

“Er. I can explain. That’s Deaky’s, I _swear_ , you can ask him-“

Roger cuts him off with another kiss. “Well I’ll thank Deaky later, because we’ll _definitely_ be needing this.”

He pushes the bottle into Brian’s hand with a mischievous smile.

Brian grins and takes hold of the bottle. He’ll _definitely_ need to remember to thank Deaky later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter! Thanks again to everyone who’s read and commented on this story so far <3 I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed writing a fic more!
> 
> Come join me in hell on Tumblr @bohemian-rhapsody-slash

Brian still can’t quite believe this is actually happening.

He’s kissing _Roger Taylor_. On his sofa. _Roger Taylor_ is lying underneath him, moaning and running his hands through Brian’s hair.

This _can’t_ be real.

“I wasn’t joking, you know,” Roger gasps as Brian starts trailing kisses down his neck. He takes hold of Brian’s hand which is still clutching the bottle of lube. “I want this.”

Brian stops what he’s doing to look at the younger man. Roger’s face is completely flushed, his blue eyes shining with happiness. He has a shy smile on his face; it’s a look that Brian’s never seen on him before, and he looks utterly adorable.

Brian holds up the bottle of lube. “You want this... _now_?”

Roger nods and bites his lip. “Yeah. I want it _now_.”

Brian’s been waiting for this for so long that he finds he can’t disagree. He certainly can’t deny Roger when he has such a cute pout on his face. He can’t help but lean down and place another quick kiss on those deliciously soft lips.

“Ok.” Brian smiles. “My bedroom or yours?”

“Neither,” Roger giggles. “I want it here.”

“ _Here_?” Brian frowns. “On the sofa?”

He’d always pictured their first time taking place in a bed, somewhere comfortable and romantic. But the idea of doing it on the sofa is kind of... _hot_. He knows that John and Freddie will be gone for the night, but the idea that they could walk in on them at any moment is almost a bit of a turn-on.

“Yeah.” Roger wraps his legs around Brian’s hips, locking them in place. “I want it right here. I want _you_ right here.”

“Alright, trouble,” Brian laughs, kissing Roger’s nose. “But don’t complain tomorrow when your back hurts and you’re sore and achy.”

“I’m very flexible,” Roger says with a wink. “Now are we going to spend the rest of the evening talking, or are we gonna get naked?”

Brian feels himself harden at an alarming rate and he lets out a small groan when Roger starts tugging insistently at his shirt.

He tosses the lube aside and sits up so that he can quickly discard his shirt. Roger immediately runs his hands across Brian’s chest, before dipping lower to fumble with his belt.

Brian has to close his eyes and take a deep breath. Roger’s hands on his belt is almost enough to make him come there and then. He reluctantly pulls himself off the younger man and stands so that he can pull his jeans and socks off, leaving him in only his underwear.

Roger sits up and pulls his own t-shirt over his head, grinning mischievously at the older man. Brian takes his hands to help him stand, pulling him in for another kiss as he reaches down for Roger’s belt. His hands are trembling so much that Roger has to help him, and soon the younger man is shimmying out of his jeans.

Brian has seen Roger in nothing but his underwear a few times during their friendship, but never before like this- flushed to his nipples, his erection straining at the fabric of his boxer-briefs. He rubs his hands down Roger’s smooth back until he can cup the curve of the younger man’s arse, pulling him in so that they’re pressed right up against each other. He can feel Roger’s erection pressed against his own, and he feels like his whole body is on fire with the anticipation of what’s about to happen.

Brian kisses Roger gently, trailing his lips down the younger man’s throat to his chest, pausing to suck on a nipple and grinning when Roger arches his back and moans. He gives a quick lick to the tips of both nipples, before kissing lower, dropping to his knees.

Brian dips his fingers beneath the waistband of Roger’s underwear, looking up at the younger man with a questioning gaze. He wants to check that Roger still wants this, that he hasn’t changed his mind. There’s a part of him that wonders whether this all some horrible joke, whether Roger will push him away and John and Freddie will walk in and laugh at him and the idea that Roger could ever want this.

But Roger looks down at him with nothing but a smile and trust in his eyes.

Brian swallows and gently tugs the underwear down Roger’s hips, careful not to catch the fabric on his erection, and works the material down the younger man’s thighs. Roger holds onto Brian’s shoulders as he steps out of the underwear, and finally, he stands before the older man naked.

Brian has to take a moment to just look. He’s imagined Roger naked a thousand times, but what’s in front of him now is so much more beautiful than anything his mind could ever concoct.

“Bri.” Roger gives his shoulder a gentle shove. “Stop staring. You’re making me self conscious.”

Brian swallows. “You have nothing to be self-conscious about, Rog. You’re beautiful. God, you’re so lovely.”

Roger laughs a little at that, his face flushing a deeper shade of red.

“Turn around for me, Rog? Please? So I can get a look at you from behind?”

Roger rolls his eyes and giggles, but does as he’s asked, doing a quick 360 degree turn. 

Brian drinks in the sight of him, his eyes lingering on Roger’s rear. When the younger man faces him again, Brian’s mouth waters at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking pre-cum, nestled in a thatch of blond curls.

He can’t resist any longer, and reaches out to take Roger’s cock in one hand, pumping gently.

Roger sighs and throws his head back, letting out a gasp as Brian licks a stripe up one side of his erection. Brian kisses his way up Roger’s cock until he reaches the head, swirling his tongue around it gently. It’s been a while since he’s given a blowjob to anyone, but judging by the noises Roger is making he guesses he must be doing something right.

Brian takes Roger’s cock into his mouth gently, not wanting to overwhelm him, and sucks slowly, smiling inwardly when he feels Roger’s hands grip his hair. He tries to memorise every aspect of this moment- the taste of Roger, thick and full in his mouth, the smell of him, the sound of him gasping with pleasure-

“ _Brian_ ,” Roger moans. “Oh my God.”

Brian picks up the pace, sucking a little faster. He works Roger with his lips and tongue and hand, trying to give his love as much pleasure as he possibly can.

“Brian.” Roger lets out a particularly loud gasp. “Please... _stop_.”

Brian pulls off immediately and frowns, confused. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Roger says breathlessly, pulling Brian to his feet. “I just...it was so good, Bri. And I was afraid if you kept going it might all be over too soon.”

Brian kisses him gently. “I’m going to make you _scream_ , Rog.”

Roger laughs as they share another kiss and he impatiently tugs Brian’s underwear down his thighs.

Finally, they’re both naked, their erections pressed up against each other. Brian has never felt happier than he feels in this moment, with Roger naked and smiling in his arms. He cups the younger man’s cheek with one hand, brushing his thumb over a cheekbone.

“Last chance to change your mind,” Brian says softly.

Roger closes the distance between them for another brief kiss. “Just fuck me already, Bri. _Please_.”

Brian grins. “Well...since you asked so nicely.”

He grips the backs of Roger’s thighs and _lifts_ , laughing when the younger man lets out a yelp of surprise, and kisses him as Roger wraps his legs around Brian’s waist. He walks them back to the sofa and deposits Roger carefully, laying him down gently.

He grabs the bottle of lube that he’d discarded on the floor and quickly coats his fingers generously.

“Open up, Rog,” Brian says softly, nudging the blond’s legs.

Roger parts his thighs as much as he’s able to in the space they have, and Brian settles himself between the younger man’s legs, rubbing one of his slick fingers against Roger’s entrance. He can’t believe he’s actually being allowed to touch Roger like this; he’s being trusted to touch the most intimate part of his love’s body.

Roger lets out a little sigh as Brian’s finger slips inside him, thrusting gently. Brian watches as the discomfort quickly fades from the younger man’s face and is replaced by pleasure as he works a second finger inside him.

“Christ, Rog.” Brian leans down to lick Roger’s cock and kiss his left hip. “You’re so gorgeous. No wonder every bloke at uni wants you.”

Roger moans as a third finger is added. “But only you get to have me now, Bri. No one else. Only you.”

“Only me,” Brian agrees, scissoring his fingers and working Roger open. “You’re finally mine.”

Roger screams when Brian hits his sweet spot, and he’s very glad that they’re alone in the flat.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” Brian kisses the inside of Roger’s knee. “I could finger you all day.”

“That would be lovely,” Roger gasps, “but I’d like something a bit bigger than your fingers now please.”

Brian grins and gently withdraws his fingers. “The cushion beneath your head, Rog. There’s a condom under there.”

Roger frowns and lifts his head, searching for the condom beneath the cushion, laughing when he retrieves the square foil packet. “Bloody Deaky. Honestly, the boy goes from being a virgin to a nymphomaniac in the space of about five minutes.”

Roger tears open the packet and pulls out the condom, before taking hold of Brian’s erection and stroking gently. Brian bites his lip and tries to think unsexy thoughts- he tries to name star constellations in his head, list the size of each planet in the solar system-

Thankfully Roger manages to roll the condom on him quickly, before grabbing the bottle of lube from Brian and rubbing a dollop over the older man’s erection. When Brian is satisfied that they’re both sufficiently lubed up, he discards the bottle and empty condom wrapper on the floor before grabbing Roger’s hips and pulling him closer.

He guides his cock to Roger’s entrance, but finds he can’t quite get the angle right.

“Here, try this.” Roger lifts his legs and places them on Brian’s shoulders, allowing the older man much better access.

Brian tries again, guiding his cock in slowly, and groans in frustration when he struggles to get inside.

“It’s ok,” Roger says gently, rubbing Brian’s arm. “Take your time.”

They share an awkward laugh when Brian struggles to push in again, but on the third attempt Brian finally manages to breach the younger man’s entrance. He moans as he gently pushes himself into Roger, the heat and tightness overwhelming him. 

“Alright, Rog?” Brian asks breathlessly once he’s completely sheathed. “Christ, you’re so _tight_.”

“I’m good.” Roger nods, his eyes shining. “I just need a minute...God, you’re definitely one of the bigger blokes I’ve been with, Bri.”

Brian feels oddly pleased with that, but he restrains himself from thrusting until he’s sure that Roger has had enough time to adjust.

“I’m not gonna last long,” Brian warns, his voice trembling. “Been thinking about this for too long. Wanted you for too long.”

“I won’t last long either,” Roger says with a smile. He takes Brian’s hand in his own and laces their fingers together. “So you’d better get on with it.”

“You got it, sweetheart.”

Roger looks momentarily taken aback by the pet name before his eyes roll back as Brian pulls out and thrusts back in.

“ _Brian_.”

Brian takes this as a sign to continue, and slowly begins to pick up the pace, aiming for Roger’s sweet spot which he managed to hit earlier with his fingers. Roger squeezes his hand and cries out with pleasure.

“Oh, _Brian Harold May_!”

Brian quickly decides that he could get used to being called by his full name. He takes this as a cue to fuck Roger harder, and the younger man clenches around his cock as he speeds up his thrusts. They fuck like this for a few minutes, before Roger squeezes Brian’s hand.

“Bri, _ah_ , do you mind if we switch positions? My legs are starting to ache.”

Brian pulls out gently and lowers Roger’s legs. “What do you want to try? Me behind you? Or-“

“Or,” Roger grins, “let me do some of the work.” He sits up and manoeuvres Brian so that he’s sitting back comfortably, before swinging one leg over Brian’s hips and straddling him.

_Oh._

This may have been one of Brian’s favourite fantasies over the last few months. The mere idea of Roger in his lap riding him is nearly enough to send him over the edge, so he has to bite his tongue when Roger takes his erection in one hand, steadies himself on Brian’s shoulder with the other, and slowly lowers himself down onto Brian’s cock.

Brian throws his head back and grips Roger’s slim hips as the younger man wraps his arms around Brian’s neck and starts to move, working himself up and down.

“I love you,” Roger gasps, his eyes shining. “Brian, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Brian buries his face in the juncture between Roger’s neck and shoulder. “Love you so much, Rog.”

It doesn’t take long for the combination of Roger’s words and the tightness of his arse to send Brian over the edge, and he cries out the younger man’s name as he comes.

Roger continues to bounce, desperately seeking his own release, so after Brian takes a brief moment to recover he strokes Roger’s cock in time with the younger man’s movements.

Roger’s grip on Brian’s shoulders tightens, and Brian can feel the younger man’s fingernails digging into his skin. His eyes flutter and he bites his lip, skin completely flushed.

Brian doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Roger slumps against Brian when he comes, digging his teeth into the older man’s shoulder. Brian squeezes Roger’s middle, holding him close. He’s never felt so happy in his entire life.

They spend a few minutes slumped against each other, their chests heaving as they recover from their orgasms.

“Wow,” Roger sighs contentedly against Brian’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Brian agrees. He can’t keep the grin from his face.

Roger pulls himself off Brian’s softening cock with a sigh, collapsing on the sofa beside the older man. Brian makes a half-hearted attempt to clean them both up with some tissues, before pulling a blanket over them both. Roger sighs happily and curls up to Brian when the older man wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“Are you alright?” Brian asks quietly, kissing Roger’s hair.

“Wonderful,” Roger replies, his voice slightly croaky.

“Do you need anything?”

Roger rests his head on Brian’s shoulder. “Just some sleep.”

Brian chuckles and kisses the younger man’s head again. “Me too.”

He can only hope that when he wakes up this won’t all have been just a wonderful dream. Now he’s had a taste of this, he knows he won’t ever be able to give it up.

*****

Brian is woken the next morning by the sound of the front door slamming.

He blinks, rubbing his eyes to block out the sunlight streaming in through the window. There’s someone slumped against him, and when he looks down he’s met with a head of blond hair beneath his nose.

And then he remembers.

He remembers making love to Roger on this very sofa last night- kissing his skin and exploring every intimate part of him. A fantasy come true.

“Oh. Um. Sorry, Bri.”

It’s only now that Brian notices John sheepishly trying to creep from the front door to his bedroom, followed by Vernon.

“Deaky!” Brian does a quick check to make sure that the blanket is covering the most important parts of him and Roger, before focusing on the two men in front of him. “Er, I didn’t think you’d be back so early.”

John gives him a soft smile. “Sorry. We left Vern’s parents’ house early this morning. I didn’t want to wake you.” His eyes dart to Roger’s sleeping form and his smile grows wider. “Either of you.”

Under normal circumstances, Brian would be mortified to be caught like this, naked on the sofa with a man he’s just slept with, but he’s too elated from the events of last night to care. Instead he just smiles at John.

Brian nods at Vernon, who’s trying to avoid looking in the direction of the sofa. “Hello, Vernon. It’s good to see you again.”

“Alright, mate?” Vernon replies, staring just above Brian’s head.

“Mm...Bri?” Roger shifts in Brian’s arms, lifting his head sleepily. He sits up a little when he notices the two other people in the room. “Oh. Hi, Deaky...Vernon.”

John grins and launches himself at the sofa, landing on top of the blanket and wrapping his arms around both men in a hug.

Brian isn’t quite sure what to do so he just hugs John back.

“I’m so glad it all worked out,” John says happily. “I’m so happy for you both.” He gives Brian a sloppy kiss on the cheek and then does the same for Roger, who plants an equally sloppy kiss on John’s lips.

“Thanks, Deaky,” Roger laughs.

“Yeah, thanks for all your help.” Brian pats John’s shoulder. “But we could do with some space right now if you don’t mind? We’re naked and covered in-“

“Ok,” John laughs. “We’ll talk about this later when Freddie gets home. You can give us the gory details then.” He clambers off of them both and grabs Vernon’s hand, dragging him towards his bedroom.

“Deaky!” Brian calls as he tosses the bottle of lube from last night at the couple, which John catches with one hand. “You’ll probably be needing that.”

John only laughs and tugs an embarrassed looking Vernon away to his room.

When they’ve disappeared, Roger pulls Brian in for a soft kiss. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Brian kisses him back.

Taking in Roger’s disheveled appearance, Brian can’t help but think he’s the luckiest man on earth. He gets to wake up to his best friend looking like _this_.

They kiss again, and Brian decides he’ll thank John later when he’s wearing more clothes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is folks- the final chapter/epilogue. It’s short but sweet and I hope you’ll find it a satisfying ending. Thanks so much for continuing to stick with this and I hope you’ve all enjoyed it. It’s been a blast! 
> 
> Tumblr: @bohemian-rhapsody-slash

_Ten years later_

“For fuck’s sake,” Brian grumbles as he turns the key in the ignition for the third time. “Stupid piece of shit.”

He can feel his frustration building, and he really doesn’t need this today.

“We need a new car,” Roger says from the passenger seat, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. “This thing is falling apart, Bri.”

“Dearest,” Brian sighs, shooting his boyfriend a playful look, “kindly shut up so I can get this thing going and we can be on our way.”

Roger pokes his tongue out with a grin before pulling his coat further around himself.

Brian has tried to fix this car countless times himself, but he thinks he’s going to have to finally admit that they need a new one. He just can’t understand why it had to do this to them _today_ of all days, when they actually have somewhere to be.

One of the back doors opens, and John throws himself onto the back seat.

“Sorry I’m late,” he gasps, breathing heavily, his cheeks slightly flushed. “Our babysitter cancelled at the last minute and we were struggling to find another at short notice.”

He leans forward to grab them into a bear hug from behind and give them each a kiss on the cheek.

“Your hair is even fluffier than usual,” Roger comments, patting John’s hair appreciatively. “Looks nice. Did you draw the short straw then? Vernon gets to stay home with the kids and you have to come to this _circus_ with us.”

“It’s going to be fine,” John says, rolling his eyes. “It’s just a wedding. I happen to like weddings, you know.”

“Yes, but this is _Freddie’s_ wedding,” Roger points out. “You know how Freddie gets at weddings. Remember how he behaved at _your_ wedding?”

John chuckles. “Don’t remind me. I thought Vernon really was going to punch Fred at one point.”

“Exactly. So imagine how he’ll be at his own wedding. He’ll have even better access to all the booze.”

“He’ll be fine,” John dismisses. “Jim will keep an eye on him.” He frowns, as if he’s suddenly only just realised they’re not moving. “Are we waiting for someone else?”

“Car troubles,” Brian mutters, giving the ignition one more go and breathing a sigh of relief when the engine finally roars into life. “Right, we’re already late so let’s get out of here.”

Even though Brian floors the accelerator, much to the delight of Roger and to the horror of John, they still end up being 15 minutes late.

Freddie shoots them all a death glare when they stumble in mid-ceremony, and all Brian can do is give his most apologetic smile and mouth “ _sorry_ ”. At least Jim looks relatively amused.

It seems that Freddie has forgotten all about it by the end of the ceremony though; he shoots them a joyful smile when they whoop and cheer as he kisses Jim.

The pair of them look so beautiful and utterly happy in that moment that Brian can’t help but glance at Roger next to him, who’s looking painfully stunning. Sometimes he still forgets that there’s nothing stopping him from leaning over and kissing Roger right now. There’s nothing stopping him from putting his arm around Roger’s shoulders or his hand on the younger man’s knee or caressing his face. Even after all these years, Brian is still in awe of the fact that he has the privilege of being able to touch Roger like that.

He’s not sure if it’s just the setting they’re in, but he feels himself fall in love all over again.

*****

Freddie does end up getting horribly drunk at the reception, but then so does Roger.

Brian knocks back another glass of champagne as he watches Freddie swing a giggling Roger across the dance floor. They look as though they’re in their own world, oblivious to the more sober people around them. Jim is talking to Freddie’s mother as they watch on in amusement.

“Hey.” Brian nudges John, who’s sitting next to him looking a little red-faced himself from all the champagne. “Do you want to dance with me?”

John pretends to look scandalised, before he hiccups and chuckles. “Yeah, ok.”

Brian takes John’s hand and leads him to the dance floor, before settling his hands on the younger man’s waist. John puts his hands on Brian’s shoulders and they start swaying comfortably. Brian knows that John isn’t much of a dancer unless he’s on stage, but he seems to have drunk enough tonight that it’s not a problem.

“You’re a better dancer than Vernon,” John comments with a smile.

Brian laughs. “I remember him dropping you on the floor when you guys were dancing at your wedding.”

John rolls his eyes. “Don’t remind me. I had a massive bruise on my arse for weeks.”

Brian recalls it had been an oddly comical moment. He thinks he still has the footage on his phone somewhere.

“Your husband is one of the clumsiest men I’ve ever met. He keeps texting me by the way. He wants to know if I’m interested in his latest _investment opportunity._ Please kindly tell him I’m not.”

“Oh, you know what he’s like.” John rests his head against Brian’s shoulder. “He becomes fixated on one _investment opportunity_ for a few weeks but he’ll quickly lose interest. You just have to wait him out.”

Brian snorts, casting a glance at Freddie and Roger who are practically stumbling around the dance floor now. “I think we’ll have to get going soon. Rog looks like he’s about to pass out.”

John looks over at them and smiles. “I’m hoping the next wedding we’ll be dancing at will be yours?” He says it so casually and with such certainty, as if he’s talking about whether the sun will come up tomorrow.

Brian feels something warm bloom in the centre of his chest. “I’ve already bought him a ring.”

John’s face lights up. “Really? That’s wonderful!” He pushes himself onto his tiptoes to kiss Brian on the cheek. “When are you going to propose?”

“It’s our anniversary next week. I was thinking that might be a good time.”

It’s been something he’s been thinking about since the day he and Roger slept together for the first time on that tiny sofa in the flat they shared together as students. It’s never been the right time though; they’ve always been recording an album or doing a tour and Queen has sort of taken over their lives. But they’re on a bit of a break at the moment, and it _feels_ like the right time.

“Rog is going to be so happy,” John says confidently. “I think he’s really ready for the domestic life.”

“Me too,” Brian laughs. “You’ll be my best man? I probably never would’ve told him how I felt if it weren’t for our disastrous date all those years ago.”

“Of course!” They hug, and John pats his arm. “God, I’m so excited for you. We’d better get him home though if you want him to survive long enough to marry you.”

At that moment, a giggling Roger stumbles over to them, prising John away from Brian’s arms to hug the younger man.

“Your hair is so fluffy, John,” Roger slurs, playing with a lock of the younger man’s hair. “So so pretty.”

“Thank you,” John laughs, gently guiding Roger into Brian’s arms. “But I think it’s nearly your bedtime, Rog.”

Roger looks up at Brian with shining eyes, his cheeks flushed. Everything that Brian’s ever felt for this man bubbles in his chest and threatens to overwhelm him. He still can’t quite believe that even after all this time just _looking_ at Roger still has this effect on him.

As he and John support Roger with an arm each and drag him to the car, Roger looks up at Brian with the most beautiful smile.

“I love you, Bri,” he giggles happily.

“Love you too, Rog.”

“And you, John.” Roger plants a sloppy kiss on John’s cheek. “Love you so much. But Bri is my boyfriend.”

“Yes he is,” John confirms with a chuckle.

“Wanna marry him one day.”

Brian glances over Roger’s head to catch John’s eye and smile at him.

“Wanna dance at _our_ wedding,” Roger babbles happily. “Want Brian to be my hus...husband.” He lets out a tiny hiccup.

Brian grins and thinks of the diamond ring hidden at home in his sock drawer.

He’s going to find it difficult to wait until next week.

END


End file.
